Close Encounters of the Skunk Kind

Cute but not cute skunk

Tooling along on my bicycle today, a couple of miles from home, I saw something small moving along the side of the road. A black-and-white something.

A skunk!

Since we moved to the Foothills, I’ve encountered lots of different wildlife I would have never seen in our old suburban neighborhood: Cougars, bobcats, coyotes, and even bears, (albeit from a short distance). Seeing these critters at fairly close range, I’ve been a bit nervous. But it’s nothing like my fear of getting skunked!

I’d had three skunk encounters in the past—and what I learned was, you can’t rush a skunk. The last one I saw was about three years ago. On several successive days, I saw it wandering all over the county road, mostly down the middle. It seemed confused, or maybe it was one skunk sandwich short of a picnic.

Not that it matters. After I saw this dumb skunk numerous times over the next week and a half, its wanderings came to a halt, courtesy of a motorist. 

Anyway, today I saw this skunk and immediately stopped, and v-e-r-y carefully got off my bike and backed away. Like really backed away, so I was about 60 feet away, my eyes on the skunk the whole time. And keeping in mind that it would get off the road in its own, good (slow) time.

Although I was upwind of the skunk, it seemed oblivious to my presence. It just kept waddling up the road, right on the fogline. As if it was actually following the white line. Every once in a while it would dip into the weeds on the road shoulder, and I’d think, “Yes! It’s going into the brush!”

Then, frustratingly, the skunk would reappear, and commence waddling right up the fogline again.

I kept hoping some cars would come along…surely a 1 or 2 ton machine going forty mph inches away would encourage a skunk to get the heck off the road! But surprisingly for summertime, only one minivan came along. The skunk didn’t even pay attention to this hazard, and the car ended up swerving out of its way.

After about 10 minutes of waiting for the skunk to move along, I was getting impatient. I’d gone biking after only a little snack, and I was really hungry. And it was starting to rain.

The other problem was, this road was the only one I could take home. The long way around would have been about 20+ miles, and I’d already biked about eight miles already. I will freely admit I’ve never done a 28-mile bikeride, and I wasn’t about to start now.

So when the skunk went into the brush again, I was ready to make my move.

I mounted my bike and stealthily began to pedal. No skunk. I kept going, then YIKES, I suddenly braked.

Another skunk!

The skunk and its newcomer pal were now waddling up the side of the road, clearly not a care in the world. I kept thinking, what the heck where they doing here? I understand skunks eat a wide range of things: salamanders, rodents, and frogs; also seeds, fungi, nuts and a whole lot more. They even attack honeybee hives and eat the bees!

But this pair didn’t seem to be doing much in the way of foraging—just loitering together on the road.

As I watched, the newcomer turned away from skunk #1, and lifted its tail. Oh, NO, I thought, it’s going to spray its buddy! What if the smell gets me too?

Then, a moment later, it lowered its tail. Whew! Maybe that’s how skunks tease each other, playing “Gotcha!”

Back they went to meandering. By now, I was resigned to just waiting it out. If I was scared of being sprayed by one skunk, I was terrified of being sprayed by two.

Another seven or so minutes went by, and finally, the two skunks meandered into the weeds. I was afraid to move, but getting hungrier and wetter by the minute, I thought, it’s now or never.

So I started pedaling again, very slowly, keeping my eyes peeled. When no black-and-white critters appeared, I got braver, and pedaled faster. Gaining in courage, I speeded up even more, and eventually passed the spot I’d last seen the skunks.

And there they were, just 12 or so feet off the road, hanging around in an unused driveway.

Well, I put the pedal to the medal the rest of the way home. Needless to say, I’ll be bikeriding in the opposite direction tomorrow, and for many days to come…

By the way, the photo is from Pixabay. I would never get close enough to a skunk to take a pic!